Welcome To Self Improvement

“Once I made a toast at a party. Just before that I took a shot of whiskey to help myself take off the pressure. But it was a big mistake, my tongue became heavy and my thoughts got screwed up. Afterwards, I feel very ashamed for what I said”;

On my job I am constantly in touch with many people but I have to reject their invitations to formal parties very often because I am afraid that I could be forced to say a toast. I am afraid to make myself look like a fool. But when I didn’t have a choice and had to make a toast, they always came up boring. So finally I understood that I have to do something with that. I read some books, talked to experts in this field and after a while I started getting better and better. So now I have some knowledge about how to make toasts that I am willing to share with you.

How to choose the topic? This is the most important moment, therefore let’s do a small exercise. Keep in mind that humans remember nine-tenths of the stuff that he or she has been personally involved in, so I’d like to ask you to precisely follow my directions in this exercise. Don’t worry; it will be quick and easy. Try to put together into one story two completely different words, like executive and puddle. As an example here are three ways that first came to my mind on how you can put those words together in one story.

1. One man told me that he is positive that he can easily become an executive of the finance department. In reality he can’t even be sure that he wouldn’t drown in a small puddle.
2. An executive fills up his pocket with undeserved bonuses as quickly as rain fills a puddle.
3. A highway executive apparently thinks that puddles on the highways are the normal thing.

Go ahead, make your own examples. (Remember, this is an exercise).

The conclusion is that it is possible to put any two different words into a short story in a million (!) various ways. Remember this rule, we will use it later in our exercises.

Now. We need to build the composition of the toast. Here also we can do it a thousand ways. I use the schema that I call “FTE” (Fairy Tale – Ending). First we say the tale and then conclude it with a smart ending.

A Fairy Tale is a short, interesting, witty story for priming.

For example:

1) Two and a half thousand years ago, after the death of the Persian king, on his grave was written an inscription that says: “It doesn’t matter who you are and from were you come, I know that you will come. I am the king of Persia, the creator of the Persian Empire. Don’t take away the handful of dirt which covers my body.”

2) Once one of Sigmund Freud’s students asked him: Is there something symbolic about you smoking big cigars? Freud answered “Sometimes a cigar — is only a cigar “.

3) In all of history on Earth 76 billion people were born and 70 billion from them have died, and the difference - 6 billion is that what we have now.

4) In a 1903 dictionary, Uranium was classified as a “useless metal “.

5) At the end of the XX century occurred one of the greatest events of the century, but it was not noticed by many: after 360 years of existence, the great Fermat theory was at last proven.

6) The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

The important detail:

It is very important that every tale must have the answers to some of these questions:

who?, what?, when?, where?, what to do? Etc.

For example, when we hear: “Once I walked in the park and suddenly something jumped out right in front of me … ” in such a beginning for a tale are the answers to the questions: when? - Once, who? - I, what did? - walked, where? – at the park, what has occurred? - There was something … That kind of information is perceived easier, than such as: “When speech is about the mind, the nervous system is not integrated by centralization around a dogmatic cell. Instead, it develops a millions-strong democracy within which each unit is a cell … “.

Fairy tales that are harmoniously integrated in speech get the listeners attention better than general phrases and dry information in a legal style. Why do children love fairy tales?

Why do people read action novels for fun when they are relaxing and only read any manuals and textbooks when it is necessary?

Because in fairy tales and novels there is action with characters, i.e. answers to the above-stated questions.

The conclusion from a fairy tale, as a rule, should be the actual for the given occasion. It is necessary to say that the conclusion should bear a positive emotional charge and organically follow from the fairy tale.

And now it is time to apply in practice our rule for the sake of which we did our small exercise: it is possible to make from any fairy tale many different conclusions, no less than that the same conclusion can be made from many different fairy tales. As we see our task, to choose the subject for our toast, is absolutely simple - from a huge set of combinations of fairy tales with conclusions, we need to choose only one. It is necessary to pull the imagination and to think up or recollect interesting fairy tales and the worthy conclusion to it.

What to do first, create a tale or conclusion? At first it looks that the toast is created in the same sequence as it is said: first you find the tale and then create the conclusion. Actually it is not important, it is possible either way that is convenient for you. I like to start from the end: first create the conclusion and then pick up a fairy tale.

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To understand the nature of self hypnosis is hard, because it is almost always merged with other, more obvious forces. We can relay on it, but we can’t calculate it. Two ill people with the same disease are taking the same medicine selected by the same experienced doctor. One person gets better, another gets worse…

Of course, we can think that is because those two different people have different body chemistry, different reactions to this medicine or maybe different mental capacity. One person believes strongly in the treatment and the other does not…
Maybe, one became better only for a moment, by luck, and it happened to be enough that the force of self hypnosis boosted and created the positive chain of reaction and with another person the opposite happened…

From the experiences of the experts that I talked to, I know that self hypnosis is capable of both strengthening and weakening the action of medicine to the body and mind. Of course self hypnosis can’t prevent the effect of enormous, destructive-toxic doses of medicine. But if there is even a slight chance, it must be used.

Self hypnosis helps when the question is: “either one way – either another”, when a bowl of weights are balanced. Self hypnosis action must be preliminary. It must have time to settle in the subconsciousness, to mobilize resources, to develop the chain of reaction before the sickness takes over the body.

I read in a research paper that some people behave improperly when they are drunk not only because they overdosed but also because they don’t want or aren’t able to prepare themselves with self hypnosis, which with the same dose of the alcohol would keep them in good condition and in appropriate behavior.

Almost every person who drinks alcohol often knows the fact that it is possible to prepare yourself in advance. Perhaps because of that ability, to hypnotize yourself before the party, it is considered a skill to drink and not to get drunk. (Note: It doesn’t mean that I approve of habitual drinkers.)

Here is another useful thing for self hypnosis: cold, virus, and infection.
The person is still healthy, but about to catch a cold or communicates with a sick person. The chance to get very sick is high. A question: would this person get sick or not?
The cause and effect of the body and mind mechanisms are too complicated. It is almost impossible to know why a person got sick or why not. But I know for sure, as bad as I can have a cold or was in contact with very sick person, I will never get sick if I prepared myself with intensive self hypnosis. Virus and flu don’t stick to me. And the main thing is: do not miss the moment…

One thing I understood correctly. You can’t oblige a person to be not sick, but he can oblige himself. Very often the opposite case happens: the person gets sick in an absolutely inopportune time, when he can’t afford to be sick at all. It is an absurd condition. I met some people that can get sick when it is necessary for them. Believe me, they aren’t faking.

A while ago I read an article that had an interesting thought related to our subject. The average human life today is about 73 years long and according to the article it because of the result of the mass human self hypnosis. People believe that is how long they can live today and that is why they live that much. If the same people will live in society where is common to live, say, 150 years, they will live that much. This idea is not that extreme. Of course getting old is a multi complex process with a lot of irreversible and unmanageable mind and body changes that are genetically programmed. But we all know that the mental force which we call “will to live” plays a huge role too.

How quick does a mentally broken person age and how confident in their good health and the necessity to live longer are the people who live a long life. Science is still unsure what comes first, the life energy as the result of self hypnosis or the self hypnosis – life energy. I think it isn’t as important as far as one supports another.

To Your Health!

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To have a rest, relax when you need, to avoid the stress in extreme situations are what I think are the important purposes of meditation. On the market today there are many guides about meditation. They offer different techniques and sometimes one contradicts with another. Well…, every author has his own opinion. I read a few of those books and as far as I came up with, if I can call them that, outlines for myself and for people who are thinking of starting to learn meditation. One of the good things that I see in my outlines is that these outlines don’t demand from me and I hope from many other people any extraordinary actions.

Outline # 1: Establish the goals.

This is, I think, half of success! Before beginning to learn how to meditate, let’s call it strategically, and then before each lesson, tactically, try again and again very clearly to define in yourself the things that are necessary to eliminate and more importantly, the things that you wish to achieve.

Outline # 2: Believe in it.

Don’t analyze yourself during the meditation lesson, do it only before or after the lesson.

The only thing that you need during the lesson is the amplifying belief in the approach of the necessary condition. A belief that is fanatical and, one that would call it, blind!

This is what I would call the condition of developed autohypnosis. Gradually you will learn how to get yourself in this condition quickly and easy.

Of course, to eliminate completely the reflection of your condition in your mind during the lesson in the beginning is impossible but it is not necessary. The involuntary self analysis in the beginning of the meditation lessons sometimes gets stronger but don’t fight with it, it will go away by itself just while you get used to meditating.

The same way with the development of the ability of concentration, the strange distracting ideas and images will disappear by themselves. I understand, that to fight with something, restrain, or destroy goes against the rules of meditation. When you learn to believe yourself all what is not required and disturbing will go away by itself.

Outline # 3: Don’t be afraid.

Some level of disturbing anxiety is common for everybody in the beginning.

A deep warm feeling, confidence, and calmness sooner or later will come to you.

Outline # 4: Give yourself time.

For some time, is difficult to tell for how long, play with yourself a tricky game, first - establish the firm tasks, and second, at the same time, don’t demand any successes from yourself and don’t expect any changes. Don’t feel guilty and don’t criticize yourself.

If you don’t see any results, it doesn’t mean that they don’t exist. They just start to appear deep inside your mind.

Outline # 5: Time, time, and more time.

You have to always remember that between the conscious and subconsciousness processes in the brain there are some mismatches in time. Either the consciousness makes the subconsciousness informed of already happened facts, or either the subconsciousness with all its old and bulky biological mechanics does not keep up with fast, impatient conscious. The subconsciousness is very slow at the beginning and its difficult to get it involved in events but when it already is in the process it is difficult to stop. Time and more time that is all that our mind needs so it can show itself in the best way.

Outline # 6: The tendency is important.

Don’t get upset if meditation doesn’t work right away. Remember, that any meditation lesson doesn’t waste. Every time your mind gets adjusted faster and easier, but sometimes unpredictable deviations could happen. The general tendency is more important; the cumulative result of many lessons. Consider that it is useful that you already started learning meditation even with no result in the beginning.

Outline # 7: Don’t think about the time.

At the beginning, while self-control is still weak and the level of anxiety still high, try during your lessons not to think about time. It would be good if you can have two free hours every day and you can dedicate 40 minutes to meditation and the rest of time use just for a walk. While you are standing in meditation don’t be afraid to be late anywhere.

When you learned how to meditate, you won’t afraid of anything unless you want to.

Establish small tasks for yourself, one at time. Don’t try to accomplish more than you plan. Don’t rush. The meditation time belongs only to you.

Outline # 8: All in ourselves.

Keep in mind that the conditions which you want to achieve with meditation you already know, you have them involuntarily during some moments in your life, but you, most likely, forgot about it, they were unstable, fleeting and, the main thing, did not interest you at that time. By studying meditation, you won’t get for yourself anything new, you are scooping only that what is in you, making it stronger and stronger.

Good luck with your start.

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